Kitchen Nightmares—Yoga Teacher Style
But cooking? Let’s just say that my version of having guests over for dinner involves reservations, a waitress, and my husband’s credit card.
Think I’m exaggerating? My house has a Viking oven. (People tell me this is a good thing.) It was installed by the house’s prior owner. I have used it exactly three times in the eight years we’ve lived here without supervision. Once while my husband was gone for the night, I made grilled eggplant. I had a fever at the time, which is the only logical explanation for why everything turned out OK. The other two times, I tried to boil water for tea. In both cases, I accidentally left the gas burner on—open flame style—for over six hours until my husband came home from work. Two other times, even though supervised, I managed to catch a dishtowel on fire.
I’m no longer allowed to use the stove. Period.
I have, however, jumped on the green smoothie bandwagon.
My husband and I had dinner with a friend—at her house, of course—a few months ago. She gushed so much over her new Vitamix that my husband immediately ordered one when we got home. What could go wrong, I reasoned? Any numbskull can throw a few vegetables in a blender.
Let’s just say things don’t always go as planned. One time I added waaaaay too much soap when I cleaned it; another, I forgot to put on the lid. My kitchen has seen more than one smoothie disaster, and my Facebook friends worry that I’ll soon chop off a finger. But in spite of a couple of requests that I stop posting my recipes (one Facebook friend says they make her feel nauseated) I love my new countertop friend. I have at least a dozen smoothie recipe books, and I’ve never used one of them.
Some of my creations are pure disasters, more akin to sewage sludge than food. Some of them are delicious. Some of them are, as my husband phrases it, “interesting.” But I’m having a great time with my creations, and the chances of my burning down our house making them are pretty darned slim. If you’re incompetent in the kitchen like I am, I highly recommend trying this fun kitchen tool. If nothing else, you’ll have great stories to share with your grandkids.
And if you’re wondering what any of this has to do with my yoga teacher sleuth in Murder Strikes a Pose, well, nothing. She’s as incompetent in the kitchen as I am. But I’m considering starting a second, smoothie-related series. What do you think of the first title: Blended to Death?
In the meantime, here’s a gazpacho-like creation from the incompetent kitchen of Tracy. Lots of fiber, more vitamins than you can shake a stick at, and a little bit of a kick, to boot!
Tracy’s Kick-Butt Gazpacho Smoothie
· 1 large tomato
· 1 small stalk celery
· 1 medium red bell pepper
· ½ English cucumber
· 1 - 2 handfuls of arugula
· 2 cloves of garlic (1 if you’re bashful or have a hot date.)
· 2 pinches of salt
· Several whole black peppercorns
· 5 – 10 ice cubes, depending on desired temperature
· 1 – 2 pinches of cayenne pepper, if you like extra kick
Blend to desired consistency.
It’s spicy and if you’re not careful, it might bite back, but it’s the perfect use for all of those great summer vegetables.
I hope you like it, and if not, well, I warned you. I’m a terrible cook!
Check out Tracy Weber’s for information about the Downward Dog Mysteries series. A KILLER RETREAT is from Whole Life Yoga. MURDER STRIKES A POSE is available at , , and book sellers everywhere