The Downfall of Crock Pot Woman

I bounded out of bed in spite of the brisk morning air that made me shiver.  A recipe for crock pot chicken and dumplings had been making the rounds on the Internet.  My mom was coming to dinner and it would be the perfect comfort food for a lovely fall day.  I was eager to check on Mochie, who hadn't been feeling well but would surely be better.  Best of all, there was a new baby in the house!  So exciting!

Meet twelve-week-old Chloe, the newest addition to my family.  The big dogs were outside, so I let Chloe explore while I sliced carrots.  Chicken and thyme went into the crock pot while I kept an eye on Mochie, who still looked miserable. 

Suddenly there were thumping sounds and a sad little mew.  I ran for Chloe.  While walking through a little cat passage, she had managed to, yes, it's true, fall inside a wall.  Ack!

I'm not supposed to sleep on my face?

Crock Pot Woman to the rescue!  While cat extraction wasn't on the schedule for the day, Crock Pot Woman can rescue innocent kittens while cooking dinner.  I managed to free a purring Chloe.  She was absolutely fine.

But Mochie wasn't.  He looked worse.  I called the vet, who graciously agreed to see him.  I was much relieved!  The appointment wouldn't interfere with dinner because -- I was Crock Pot Woman, and dinner was cooking itself.

So Mom came to dinner and everything was ready.  Even a salad that I threw together with some unlikely ingredients.  Crock Pot Woman had battled crises all day, yet she had everything under control -- until Mom took one bite of the crock pot chicken and dumplings.  "Did you make much of this?" she asked.

Of course!  Because I am Crock Pot Woman, and I know we will freeze portions to enjoy on cold winter days.

And then I tasted it.  Crock Pot Woman fizzled like a drop of water in a hot skillet.

"Hmm, I'll put some in a pot tomorrow and see if we can improve it," said my mom.

It was awful.  Not just bland or uninspired.  Truly awful.  From the broth to the dumplings, there was simply nothing to commend it.

I'm happy to report that while Mochie has a bug, he will be quite fine.  Chloe weathered her little ordeal like a trooper.  My mom will be trying to doctor the dreadful chicken and dumplings, and I, the defrocked superhero, have wisely chosen to spare you the dreadful chicken and dumpling recipe, and offer an unusual, but surprisingly tasty salad instead.

Fizzled SuperHero Salad

2 apples
handful walnuts (1/3 cup, eyeball it)
2 tablespoons dried cranberries
2 diced prunes
2 stalks celery
1/3 cup mayonnaise
3/4 teaspoon balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon honey
1 teaspoon horseradish mustard

Peel, core, and dice apples.  Chop walnuts. Slice celery.  Mix everything together.

Serves four.