Comments on Mystery Lovers' Kitchen: Welcome our Guest Blogger Barb Goffman!

At the age of 12 I had to take over the cooking fo...

2009-11-30T15:24:39.839-05:00

At the age of 12 I had to take over the cooking for my 5 brothers and sisters, and had to learn on the job. One night, making mac & cheese, I had just put the macaroni into the boiling water when the kitchen sink overflowed. By the time the disaster was cleaned up, the macaroni was a shapeless overcooked mess ... but being too poor to let food go to waste, my poor siblings ate it anyway.
Our best family cooking tale, tho, is a cousin who, making a new recipe, asked her Mom "How do you make an egg white?"
Shirley

Don't worry, Helen. It seems everyone has a cookin...

2009-11-29T23:25:54.884-05:00

Don't worry, Helen. It seems everyone has a cooking disaster story. It's what's brings us all together at the holidays. (I hope the stain came out of that beautiful tablecloth.)

My disaster was a three layer ultimate chocolate c...

2009-11-29T23:19:28.283-05:00

My disaster was a three layer ultimate chocolate cake that I made for a Thanksgiving dinner that my family attended. The cake had whipped cream between the layers & lots of fudge icing. I had kept it in the refrigerator but when we arrived at the home of our hosts they did not have room in their refrigerator. I thought that it would be fine & it might have been except that the hostess had not estimated the cooking time for the turkey correctly. So we sat & had drinks & then when we finally finished the meal & the cake was brought to the table I knew that I was in trouble. The cake layers had already started slipping & when I put the knife into the cake it ended up on the beautiful white linen tablecloth.
Helen Kiker

The Betty Crocker test I mentioned above contained...

2009-11-29T19:40:58.276-05:00

The Betty Crocker test I mentioned above contained quite a few math questions related to things like cooking (Example: if the cooking time of a roast is x minutes per pound, how long would it take to cook a roast of 9 1/2 pounds) and sewing. I know I aced those kinds of questions!

Hi, Becky. I like the top flying off the blender i...

2009-11-29T19:23:05.361-05:00

Hi, Becky. I like the top flying off the blender image. Very nice. I once was making a shake in the blender and forgot to put the top on. Slimfast and ice cubes everywhere!

Lord, I didn't realize till I started seeing everyone's stories today that I had had so many mishaps in the kitchen. And considering how little I cook, the percentage of cooking to disaster is quite high. Fun, fun, fun.

Cute story, Barb. Sounds like my type of pie! I h...

2009-11-29T18:58:18.687-05:00

Cute story, Barb. Sounds like my type of pie!

I have two stories about cooking gone awry. The first was when I was using one of my mother's old wooden-handled pots. I finished cooking my large batch of macaroni and was taking the pot to the sink, but I had forgotten that the handle was loose. The pot turned upside down, and all the noodles and hot water spilled all over the floor. Luckily I had on jeans and boots, so I didn't get burned, but I stomped my feet and screamed as loud as I could anyway.

The next was when I was making lentil soup. I was supposed to mix some of the batch in a blender. Unfortunately I put in a little too much and used too high a speed. The top flew off the blender and lentil soup mix went all over the kitchen and me. I wasn't so lucky about not getting burned this time, but it was very minor and only on my hands.

The wooden-handled pot went straight to the trash, and no lentil soup has been made in my kitchen since my pitiful pureeing. But I guarantee there's a new mishap waiting on the horizon.

Hi, Gail. What in the world was on that test?

2009-11-29T18:50:46.655-05:00

Hi, Gail. What in the world was on that test?

I don't know how to bake or cook a thing. I live ...

2009-11-29T18:11:02.350-05:00

I don't know how to bake or cook a thing. I live on take-out. But I do have two qualifications that PERHAPS permit me to comment here: 1) I'm the author of "The Kindle Did It," one of the stories in The Gift of Murder. I consider it an honor to be included. And 2) When I was a senior in high school, on the basis of a written test we all had to take, I got the highest score and was named "Betty Crocker Homemaker of Tomorrow." Yikes! Talk about a mystery . . . .

Oh my. Oh I love this post. I really can see your ...

2009-11-29T17:16:11.030-05:00

Oh my. Oh I love this post. I really can see your dad yelling with horror in his eyes, "The cookies!" That is so funny. It makes me feel better about my own disasters. Thank you. And happy holidays! Oh, wait. Did he ever try baking again? Would your mom let him? I'm just sitting here laughing and laughing.

Hi Barb! Although food often appears in my myster...

2009-11-29T17:04:44.930-05:00

Hi Barb! Although food often appears in my mysteries involving Mark Sauer & Joi Li (including, as you mention, my story "The Seven Dollar Clue"), my own cooking rarely goes terribly wrong. On the other hand, I watched my Italian father try his hand at making choclate-fudge cookies. He made it clear that he didn't want his son's help and shooed me out of the house. Hours later, I returned and found there were no cookies. None. I frowned. "Geez, dad! Did you eat all the cookies by yourself?"

He blinked and screamed "THE COOKIES!" and ran to the oven, where the cookies were still baking--five hours after he had put them in!

So we ended up with a cookie jar full of "fudge rocks" that my mother--frugal woman that she was--refused to let us throw away. They sat untouched in the jar for two full months (because they were as hard as concrete and just as inedible). I finally snuck outside one snowy morning with the cookies and a hammer, pounded them down into gravel, and scattered them in the mudhole at the end of the farm road we lived on, just to get rid of them.

Ah, the holidays! What memories they bring back....

--J F Benedetto

Thanks for posting, Benjie. Hope you like the cake...

2009-11-29T16:14:32.297-05:00

Thanks for posting, Benjie. Hope you like the cake!

Chocolate pound cake sounds great. We'll have to t...

2009-11-29T15:18:14.934-05:00

Chocolate pound cake sounds great. We'll have to try it this year.

Hi, Shel. Maybe the problem has to do with apples....

2009-11-29T14:32:35.953-05:00

Hi, Shel. Maybe the problem has to do with apples. Because my pie story involved an apple pie ... hmm. I'm sure we can blame both our incidents on the apples. Not our own faults at all. Yeah, that's it!

Hi, Barb, the anthology sounds great! And my husba...

2009-11-29T14:16:51.410-05:00

Hi, Barb, the anthology sounds great! And my husband, the chocoholic thinks the pound cake sounds great too. Cooking disasters? Oh, I've had plenty. A pastry chef I am not, and unfortunately my shiny new food processor complete with dough blade hasn't helped a lot. I wanted to make something resembling an apple strudel for Thanksgiving. What I ended up with more closely resembled a large Hostess apple fried pie, only baked. It was edible, but not what I was aiming for!

HSS, please, please share with us what those cooki...

2009-11-29T13:59:14.981-05:00

HSS, please, please share with us what those cookies ended up like. How'd you discover your mistake? Was it obvious by appearance? Or did someone (you?) discover it by tasting them?

I'm mathematically challenged. I had to make thre...

2009-11-29T13:51:32.049-05:00

I'm mathematically challenged. I had to make three dozen cookies once. I'd made the recipe hundreds of times so no sweat to triple it right? Wrong!! I multiplied all the ingredients correctly, except the salt. I tripled it not once but twice or was it three times!! I've learned my lesson and make one batch of anything at a time, unless a mathematician is there to calculate for me.

Hi, Pat. I'm laughing so hard that my dog is looki...

2009-11-29T11:33:41.676-05:00

Hi, Pat. I'm laughing so hard that my dog is looking at me like I'm crazy! Thanks for sharing. (That time you forgot to turn on the oven, how'd that turkey turn out?!)

OK, I've cooked a turkey with the plastic-coated i...

2009-11-29T11:20:43.423-05:00

OK, I've cooked a turkey with the plastic-coated innards inside and another without remembering to turn on the oven. But this year I put my pistachio cake in the oven and ... well, here's a link to my blog entry about it...
http://patremick.blogspot.com/2009/05/burning-questions.html

Hi, Avery. Your story reminds me of when, as a kid...

2009-11-29T10:55:27.341-05:00

Hi, Avery. Your story reminds me of when, as a kid, I was making something (no idea what) with a friend. The recipe called for baking powder. We only had baking soda. Turns out they are not the same thing! The contents of our dish started to bubble and rise, like a volcano! I really should stay out of the kitchen.

Hi, Barb, so good of you to join us! Love your st...

2009-11-29T10:10:30.002-05:00

Hi, Barb, so good of you to join us! Love your story about the pie. I once made a cake with homemade icing. Just didn't realize that icing requires "powdered" sugar. The icing ran and ran and ran. {Do not add me to your contest list. I'm one of the Mystery Lovers Kitchen bloggers.} But so fun to remember long lost memories! And can't wait to read your short stories.

Hi, Julie. You know how to make layers?! I bow dow...

2009-11-29T10:01:42.922-05:00

Hi, Julie. You know how to make layers?! I bow down to you! Thanks very much to you and the other ladies of Mystery Lovers Kitchen for having me guest blog today. I really appreciate it. (And I hope you like the book!)

Oh, and I meant to add that the anthology and your...

2009-11-29T09:43:06.784-05:00

Oh, and I meant to add that the anthology and your story sound fabulous. Just as soon as I clear some time I can't wait to read it!

Julie

Hi Barb, Thanks so much for joining us here at th...

2009-11-29T09:42:05.241-05:00

Hi Barb,

Thanks so much for joining us here at the Mystery Lovers' Kitchen. I love your pie story. I once frosted a chocolate layer cake before it had completely cooled. I was running late and didn't have time. What could go wrong, right? Well, I placed my beautiful chocolate layer cake in my cake carrier and left for the party. When I opened it the cake had collapsed into four enormous layered chunks. Oops. The family still laughs about it to this day. But, even though it sat in messy pieces, it was still delicious.

Glad to have you here, Barb!

Julie

Hi, Elizabeth. Chocolate and pound cake all in one...

2009-11-29T09:33:57.442-05:00

Hi, Elizabeth. Chocolate and pound cake all in one ... what's not to like? Thanks for coming by today!

Hi, Caryn. I love your holiday-reading marathon id...

2009-11-29T09:31:56.724-05:00

Hi, Caryn. I love your holiday-reading marathon idea. Hope you have a lot of fun with it. And I love that you also have a pie crust story. How funny.

I'm always so afraid of screwing things up when I cook that I try to follow recipes exactly, so if I had missed a step like you did, common sense would not have kicked in. But we're certainly not the only ones. When my oldest niece was 12, she was going to make lunch for herself for the first time. I can't remember what she was making, but the can said to put it in a microwave-safe bowl and microwave for however many seconds. Of course the can should have said to EMPTY THE CONTENTS into a microwave-safe bowl. My niece, following the directions exactly, put the unopened can in a bowl, opened the microwave, and I'm sure if I hadn't been sitting there, would have burned the house down. (Sorry, Rachel, if you're reading this. But it's a good story!) Sometimes commonsense just isn't there. But it can happen to anyone. Hey, my pie story happened when I was 24!